Buddies
The buddy system. A HR invention to hold the hands of graduates.
It's amazing some of the questions that are asked by the in-coming analyst group.
Here are a few gems I have come across.
"Hi [Corporate Whore],
Thanks for getting in touch. I was wondering how much of my salary do you think I should be saving/spending each month?"
WTF? I am not your parent.
"Hi [Corporate Whore],
This is gona sound cheeky but, how often do the office lads go out for a piss-up?"
I laughed when I read this. He's thinking on the right lines. However, his focus on the lads may be indicate something.
"Dear [Corporate Whore],
I can't log into the intranet, do you know how I can resolve this?"
Of course, wait until you begin employment and have received a username and password from IT. You moron.
"[Corporate Whore],
What do you do on a daily basis? Do you enjoy the work and the people? If not, why haven't you left?"
You pompous little shit.
"[Friend of the Corporate Whore],
What should I wear on the first day?"
"[Friend of the Corporate Whore],
Do you think printing up some business cards is a bit forward?"
"Hi [Corporate Whore],
Thanks for lunch, just one more question, what are the christmas parties like?"
"Dear [Corporate Whore].
... Any tips on how I can stand out in my group?"
My response "Use 'common' sense at all times. It's less common than people believe."
It's amazing some of the questions that are asked by the in-coming analyst group.
Here are a few gems I have come across.
"Hi [Corporate Whore],
Thanks for getting in touch. I was wondering how much of my salary do you think I should be saving/spending each month?"
WTF? I am not your parent.
"Hi [Corporate Whore],
This is gona sound cheeky but, how often do the office lads go out for a piss-up?"
I laughed when I read this. He's thinking on the right lines. However, his focus on the lads may be indicate something.
"Dear [Corporate Whore],
I can't log into the intranet, do you know how I can resolve this?"
Of course, wait until you begin employment and have received a username and password from IT. You moron.
"[Corporate Whore],
What do you do on a daily basis? Do you enjoy the work and the people? If not, why haven't you left?"
You pompous little shit.
"[Friend of the Corporate Whore],
What should I wear on the first day?"
"[Friend of the Corporate Whore],
Do you think printing up some business cards is a bit forward?"
"Hi [Corporate Whore],
Thanks for lunch, just one more question, what are the christmas parties like?"
"Dear [Corporate Whore].
... Any tips on how I can stand out in my group?"
My response "Use 'common' sense at all times. It's less common than people believe."
